Liz in Question

Feel like writing

2007-11-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

Hi, I feel like I should introduce myself. Hi, I'm Liz. It has been a very long while since I've written. Sorry blogosphere- life just got hectic and crazy.

Brief update, got married to my wonderful Husband(turned out perfect- so much fun), went to Bali (good and bad times both), hurt my knee practicing yoga in bali and still can't do lotus, got back in August, found out I was preggers, got a job... now getting big (already at 27 weeks), and so stoked to have our kid. She is a busy little girl, she has been kicking non stop since yesterday morning and kept me up all night. I guess this is good practice for the upcoming sleepless nights.

I am having an easy pregnancy. I am so lucky. Due date is Feb. 4. Crazy lucky to be having a baby, I have so many friends struggling to get pregnant. Not at all pleasant for them.

My ribs are being pushed out by this little spud, it hurts!

Here's some honeymoon photos for your viewing pleasure

She's laughing like a choir girl

2007-02-26T20:31:00.000-08:00

List

1. Going to be a Mrs. not a Ms. cool but kinda scary. I have been single for 29 years you know.

2. Walking for two hours at Torrey Pines will make your ass hurt like a mother. Duh!!

3. Cold Water Kids are my favorite right now. Love it!

4. Wedding planning has 5 billion details. Egads!! Fun but geez, lots to think about!

5. Good to see you Megs last weekend! Aggrolites were pretty sweet-

6. I'm sore- yoga/hiking/softball practice/training with Mike = soreness

7. Bring on Bali for six weeks with my... husband!

Yep... it's all on

2007-02-16T21:23:00.000-08:00

So... I am getting married!! Wow. I am so happy. That is all I have to say about that.

2007-01-17T12:10:00.000-08:00

List time

Things to be stoked about:

1. Done with student teaching
2. Job interview Friday
3. Bali this summer with Brian :)
4. Santa Barbara this weekend with Brian :)
5. Landing Bakasana B from Handstand (but not today, only Monday)

Things to not be stoked about:

1. Still live in the sludge house (but heh, makes sense to stay until summer and save cash for Bali)
2. Brrrrr
3. I have an interview... makes me nervous
4. Have to retake my constitution test cause I failed (I guess I should have studied!!!)
5. My right side is soooooooooooo tight, no end in sight

Bye bud

2007-01-06T14:32:00.000-08:00

Lander died last night. We came home from the movie and he was gone. He was old, and has been sick, but had been better recently, even going for a couple of adventures yesterday. I miss him, his face, and him putting his head on my lap. He was part of our little family.

I'll miss you buddy. You could be a pain, but I loved you.

I'm Back

2007-01-04T20:19:00.000-08:00

I had a lovely visit back to good old Clarkston. I saw lots of friends and family and settled into a nice LAZY pace. Driving, life in general is just slower there. Good for the soul. I did only two practices of first series only. I did lots of tv watching, shopping, and sleeping. Ah, home is so easy.

Back to life now. Yoga wasn't too bad this morning, though I'm having this weird pinching in my left hip flexor, like it is out of place. I couldn't do leg behind the head because of this pinching. It just wouldn't go. I came really close to Karandavasana this morning, though not close enough! I've figured out what exactly inhibits the legs from going into lotus easily upside down and it is definitely that the sides of my butt are tight. This is a tough area to get to.

So sad about what happened to Sean O'Shea. I didn't know him though I've practiced with him. Such a freak accident and so sad for those who loved him.

I hope you are all well and bring on 2007, it is going to be a good one

whoa there nelly

2006-12-21T20:42:00.000-08:00

Ok, gotta chill on the xmas shopping. I LOVE LOVE LOVE shopping for gifts and would spend a thousand on each of my family members and friends if let loose. I think I am officially done. I just picked up the last gift for my bro and that was the last one on my list. Yippee!

School is out, today was insane. The kids were so excited to be going on break that it seemed they were all tweaked out on crack. They were sooooo fidgety and wouldn't shut the hell up. The TA and I were yelling all day. Stessful and I'm feeling the stress in my back and in my fatigued body. Oh well, it is breaky break time now so atleast I have two weeks to recover.

I turned in an application today for my "Real" job. Wish me luck for a position teaching second semester. I think I would go gray by 30 if I had to sub all second semester. I want some real money and a real class. I really despise subbing. I wish I could take back how horrible I was as a kid to the subs... ah, what retribution.

Tomorrow we are celebrating our two year anniversary. I got some good gifts for B. He is very practical so I got him socks... ya, I know, but he'll be stoked, believe me. I also got him a temperpedic pillow which he's wanted forever, and lastly a really good bottle of Rhone. I have no idea what he is thinking of for my gift. I know what I want though. Expectations are a bummer.

A cop got shot in Oside near where my students live. It is rough in the valley there. The TA knew the cop. Sucks. They are still on a man hunt, no guy yet. Feel so bad for his family :(

On a lighter note, heading north Saturday night for 10 days with the fam. Can't wait to have some down time, a full fridge, and a comfy couch!

Happy holiday ya'll

and on and on and on and on

2006-12-15T20:24:00.000-08:00

I think I have what is considered a "normal" life now. I go through the motions, I get overwhelmed and frustrated, I become tired, I slack off on my extra-curricular activities. I feel that I am going through the motions, plodding along, trying to get to the end, but then it is another beginning, and more desire to finish what ever that is.

I plan life around work. I worry. I wonder about things at work and how they'll turn out.
I do love teaching, but I hate student teaching. Not the 'real' teacher. NOT FREAKING PAID for four months. I am about at the end of my rope. I have so much debt and for what, to be disrespected and frustrated daily. 2 weeks of student teaching left. Next week, and a week in January. All I gotta say is that every teacher in America deserves a doubling of their salary for the shit we put up with. But in the end, I love the students and wouldn't change what I do on a daily basis for anything. The kids keep me young and inspired. I laugh everyday. I learn something everyday. Someone confides in me everyday. I just hope I don't end up losing my marbles trying to keep all my delinquents under control. (If you didn't realize, I teach Special Ed).

That is my life these days.

My back hurts again, need a massage but of course that is out of the question considering I have 24 dollars til the end of the month.

Poor poor pitiful me! hahaha, actually things are good despite all of this and the fact that I am getting sick with a cold and feel like crap today. But like Alison is fond of saying in class these days, something along the lines of "You might as well accept things, because this never ends."

List of latest odds and ends:

1. Modest Mouse concert last weekend was sooooooooooo sweet. Want to see them again in a smaller venue.

2. My house is colder inside than outside

3. I go home next Saturday for 10 days, hallelujah

4. Life is boring sometimes, I'm bored

5. My dog can't get up by himself, poor sweetie. He collapses and looks at me like "why the f did you cut off my leg you bitch?" And then we wonder the same thing

6. I need to find a new place to live, this place sucks

7. I sometimes take a look around and wonder how the hell I got here, to this place, this reality

8. I miss travelling, I miss surfing in warm water, I miss my mysore practice

9. I miss someone very far away that I shouldn't miss still

10. This one is a secret, but believe me, it's intense

New look reflects mood

2006-12-03T20:10:00.000-08:00

I get it... subtle annoyance with your presence...

Time for me to go downstairs and get some space. When you love someone why do you get annoyed at them just for being around? This must be the post honeymoon phase. Ouch, scary, when it is still pre-marital phase.

I hate this feeling of annoying someone. Makes me want to get the f out of here and fast.

I know this is just normal crap, but it just sucks (my favorite word as of late).

Shock Value

2006-11-30T16:06:00.000-08:00

Seems that people are into shock value via their blogs as of late. They must be feeling bored. I sure am. Haven't had a vacation out of town for months and need to get some perspective/distance/fresh outlook. Bogged down by routine, demands, monotony, stagnation, annoyance. Seems many in the blog world (I hate the term Blogosphere... overdone) are delving into their dark and twisty thoughts. It is good to read blogs about risque topics, seeing how far people will go, will they name names? Are they breaking up? Do they actually slightly despise someone they read about everyday? Do they actually admire that girl for her prepubescent body? Do they say it is gross to appear to not have issues? I love reading comments the most... especially when they are heated. I don't say all that many inflamatory things... I am pretty much too consumed in my own head to be able to effectively get it out in the written form. B and I have long weird discussions, I guess that is my outlet for deciphering odd thoughts.

In re the prompts for posts courtesy of JMS, I guess I am a boring old fart and I don't hump people at the studio (such a great word), I don't cry during savasana (I did one in paschimotanasana once in NYC), and as for the other ones... I have relatives that read this blog (so I've heard though they never comment)... and I would just feel ew revealing such thoughts to them.

Posts I'd personally like to hear about-

1. Why people do yoga instead of crack. Seems to be just as addictive. And since so many people seem to want to be skinny, maybe crack would be the easier path? My answer- don't know but worthy of further thought

2. Why yoga teachers will tell their students they've gotten fatter? For control? To slight? Or just pure comment? I know that day will come, was once told 'very heavy' and then felt it

3. The competitive side of yoga. If they "sucked" would they practice? Do they love the admiring eyes watching them do what others will never be able to do and why that is addicting? When I started yoga I was a mess, not flexible, not one of those people that were told 'you have a beautiful practice...' I know that I don't need this reassurance, perhaps this comes from working my ass off as a swimmer for so many years. I think that is why Sunday morning is my favorite class... we just kick our own asses and don't pay attention to what others can/can't do.

4. Would they practice yoga if it weren't what the cool kids were doing? yep

Happy Tofurkey day

2006-11-23T11:48:00.000-08:00

Actually going to have gourmet mac and cheese, no tofurkey. Yoga was packed out this morning, I guess lots of people getting away from family, and trying to mellow themselves out for the rest of the sometimes stressful day. I personally love yoga on holidays. So many people there, tons of energy, and lots of time. So many people travel a great distance to practice there, good to be reminded of how good we've got it here. Yesterday, in Vrchikasana II Tim put my feet in my armpits. That was wild and I got a little freaked and came out of it. He laughed and said, "Maybe they would have gotten stuck!" I said, well, let's not see about that! Nice to know that my back is still open even though I can't practice Mysore much anymore due to work.

We are going to our friend's place tonight for dinner. It is going to be relaxed and laid back, in my opinion, the best kind of holiday, or event. I hate stressful holidays... cooking... arranging...etc. Much better just to sit back and enjoy your loved ones.

Have a great day and long weekend everyone!

2006-11-18T18:24:00.000-08:00

Lander is home. Pretty wild looking! He has a huge slash, no leg, all shaved, and a cone thing on his head. He is hopping around great... eating a ton. Seems super happy and so I am stoked... Ya! So glad he is healthy again. So hard to see doggues in pain.

I'm on vacation now. One week off is sounding so great. I was busy today, but tomorrow is going to be chill. Lots of yoga, lots of sleeping, and lots of relaxation.

I'm selling Arbonne now, it is so amazing. I am super impressed with the product. All natural, botanically based, 100 percent petroleum free. So good in so many ways.

Going to an art show tonight at a friend's space. Life is good now. My bro is at the Apple Cup right now with a bunch of buddies, probably super fun. Go Huskies!!

Updates

2006-11-15T20:54:00.000-08:00

I had accupuncture. Ahhhh, the best. Feel so much better.

Lander is getting his leg chopped off tomorrow. Can't wait because they say he'll be so much better and out of pain immediately! Ya! I can't stand seeing him suffer like this! Chop the dang thing off and give me my happy doggy back!

Next week school is off all week. Yoga time galore- doing a full practice on Veteran's day tested my endurance for sure. Miss consistant mysore practice, but absence does make the heart grow fonder.

I went to the new Yoga Swami Anusara studio. It holds classes in a yurt (spelling?). It was pretty cool. We did a lot of handstands and I had Bandhas of steal tonight. Love that feeling, like you are floating and like standing in a handstand is natural.

I like Tiff's post tonight. I tried to post a comment and of course it was lost. Basically I was saying that me plus pot equals bad. For others, with overactive minds it is another case. For my students with zero motivation, it is soooooooo freaking bad. I have this cool kid that is just on the brink of falling into a huge abyss. He is smoking and this is making him put one foot over the edge. I had a candid talk with him last week. But you know, he is sixteen, and he needs to figure stuff out on his own, that is the only way you truly learn.

I got my digital camera back and it is all fixed so there are going to be some photos coming soon! I'll post my three legged dog soon and you can all see how gorgeous he is. He needs a bath but has been in too much pain for me to subject him to something he HATES.

The Prognosis

2006-11-10T17:27:00.000-08:00

Lander has cancer. He has a freaking huge tumor on his leg. We thought it was just his muscle cause he had hurt it before. I've cried and cried. Deal is he needs to get his leg amputated. Not sure what we should do. He is 13 and a border collie. We have an appointment for the amputation Tuesday but are confused.

List time

2006-11-08T14:05:00.000-08:00

Good news list
1. I am getting a replacement stereo that is pimped out courtesy of my insurance.
2. I am starting a new little business venture with this product that is making my skin look really good, and I might have a friend that is going to go into it with me!
3. I did tic tocs by myself again last night for the first time since hurting my back

Bad news
1. I had to come up with 100 bucks for the deductible.
2. Still feel weird when I talk to my ex
3. Should be student teaching tomorrow but morons at the District Office can't find my fingerprints that I've done TWICE- there's another 100 dollars plus I'm out

4 times and counting

2006-11-07T12:50:00.000-08:00

My car got broken into last night. I haven't said so many expletives in my life as came rolling off my tongue this morning. They stole my stereo and broke my window. I have a hundred dollar deductible. I am a student teacher and make no freaking money. Thanks to the fucker who just got another 100 bucks out of my pockets. Little piece of shit. Like they will get any money for it? So freaking lame. Atleast they didn't steal my baseball glove and yoga mat. That would have really sucked.

It is hotter than a motha here. Too bad I am too pissed off to enjoy it!

la musica

2006-11-03T13:59:00.000-08:00

I need to listen to some new tunes. Anyone been listening to anything really cool lately? Interested to hear some comments...

2006-10-31T15:22:00.000-08:00

I just don't have much to say lately. I am a boring blogger.

Pirates, Big Members, and Censors

2006-10-22T10:59:00.000-07:00

Halloween Party was fun. I wore my friend's afro and that was about the extent of the costume. Felt pretty sexy though in my diva outfit. I even got a few comments as such. Funny how much more makeup you can wear if you have dark hair! It was fun to wear dark lipstick and tons of eye makeup cause I would look like trailer trash if I did that sans afro wig. B went as "The Dude" from the Big Lebowski which was pretty funny, even had the White Russian to complete the look. I came home early (11:30) cause I am just a weakling. Two hours at a party is pretty good for me these days. I had two glasses of wine at dinner and then one mixed drink over about 6 hours and it was plenty for me. Eeks, I am a lightweight. B got home late and had gotten pretty wrecked. In two years I've never really seen him drunk so it was amusing, not that I really like drunk people, but it was a very rare occurrence and therefore it was entertaining.

The costumes were hilarious. Three of our friends came as the front, middle, and end of a ship dressed as pirates. They had card board boxes decorated to the tee, with guns, a mast, a steering wheel (Is that what they are called on a ship?) and even a barbie doll to front the ship. HILARIOUS. One guy came a censor. He was naked and then had a black bar on his front and butt and that is it. Pretty brave. Totally non chalont about it as well, like "Hey, I'm naked. What is your costume?" My excuse for not going naked is, well, um it's too cold, ya. Too bad I could never be that confident! Another guy's wife made him a giant penis costume complete with hairy balls. This was a riot, it was so huge that he had to duck and turn sideways to get in the door.

On to more menial items. I couldn't get my leg in lotus in Karandavasana today by myself, probably too much expectation. I was afraid I was going to put too much pressure on myself to be able to do it and that is exactly what I did. Oh well, all is coming.

Halfway done with student teaching woo hoo! I hope I can get a job and that we can go to Costa Rica next summer for atleast a month. That would be so good for us- not so much of the worker bee everyday stress which living in SoCal or any other Metropolitan area provides. I'm sure everyone has stress at all different levels and varieties. I have been finding that doing breathing exercises really reduces anxiety and stress, as well as that physical. When I breathe into my rhomboid (location of my most recent of injuries) things are A-OK. When I don't and forget about breathing, my rhomboid reminds me with a sudden jerking pain.

A big marine layer just sweeped in and it is chilly now, yesterday it must have gotten to around 78. Beautiful and sunny but I was lazy as can be (must be the snake in me). I also didn't sleep well friday night, and on my only day to sleep in I was up and totally awake at 7. LAME. I spoke to Maria this morning and she said she did the same and it is due to the New Moon. Does anyone else experience lack of sleep during the new moon? Full moons I usually feel heavy and sore, new moons kind of flighty and unfocused.

How is everyone? I am looking forward to the holidays this year more than normal, probably because it also will be our 2nd anniversary, the end of my student teaching (except for one week in January) and the chance to see my family.

Seriously Sweet

2006-10-19T20:27:00.001-07:00

I just did Karandavasana by myself three times. I feel like a yoga rock star. This has been my nemesis for a year now. SWEET!!! Now if I can do it in front of Tim on Sunday....

No title for the weary

2006-10-18T21:07:00.000-07:00

Almost healed! YIPPEE!! Can do everything at yoga, only thing I can't do is softball.

Found out some horrible crazy shit that some of my kids are going through... alcoholic molesting boyfriends of their mother.... getting jumped with a hammer... I love my kiddies and I want to kick some ass right now for hurting them.

Seems like lots of my friends right now are hitting the bottle. I wonder why we all feel like drinking... Here's to ya!

Things to do:

1. Halloween party saturday. Gonna be sweet!! Thinking of going as the characters from Big Lebowski. OH yeah... best costume right here.
2. Figure out some money quick
3. Get my substitute teaching permit
4. Stop popping these two huge zits on my chin
5. Shave my damn legs... it is a jungle
6. Have some nooky, been crazy Randy lately (must be the recent lack of yoga)

Knock on wood

2006-10-11T16:57:00.000-07:00

Back getting better, had accupuncture again, and then dug into my back with a baseball- pretty intense accupressure for about an hour last night. Feeling dang good in comparison, no stabbing pains that almost make me faint at the moment. Sweet! Progress! I am hoping to go to yoga tomorrow and take it REALLY easy.

B and I are going to have a "talk" friday night... hmmm, scary.

Yo mama goes to bed at 830, no wait, that's me

2006-10-07T15:27:00.000-07:00

Soooooooooo, been an interesting couple of weeks. Have a crazy student story, but can't say a word about it because this is the web and i've learned the hard way not to say a damn thing. We'll just say it involves a household tool and someone getting shot.

On another front, really hurting yourself is a challenge. You have to stay put and not escape your head space via exercising. I love to exercise because I can clear my head, clean out my body, and focus on something. When I can't exercise I am just stuck here with me... Not nearly as fun. I am getting better, working with an awesome PT and focusing on getting better. Get beda, get beda....

Yet another front, isn't it odd when you do something and don't even think that it is anything of consequence, and then it totally comes back and bites you in the ass, and hard? Well, I did something stupid and wow did it start a wildfire. I had NO thoughts of reprisal yet as I notice with blogs and emails, there is no way to judge the way it is said as is useful in conversations face to face or over the phone. There is no tone attached to a blog or an email, it is difficult to attach tone, only the best writers can effectively do so. I am not going to say what it was, and those involved will know, but said person will never be mentioned again, never.

Two more weeks at my student teaching placement, it is going to be hard to leave some of my kids. 9 weeks with a different classroom and then I'm done!!!

I miss yoga. Maybe I'll be able to go back by the end of this week. I am going to go for a walk now. It is gorgeous, almost summery, and really low tide which I love.

The sunset is gorgeous right now, but that is about it

2006-10-04T18:39:00.000-07:00

This has been a tough year for me in several ways, but mostly in the physical health way. Started out the year with a knock-me-on-my-ass-for-five-days flu. No yoga for one week. Then hurt my rib. Two weeks off. The took a trip, so two weeks off which was ok, but then got a killer virus, another two weeks off. Then had to switch to night classes cause of work. So can't do nearly the kind of practice as before. Now I've hurt my back, and pretty badly at that. Already been a week, don't know when I will be able to practice. So, is this a sign that yoga just isn't for me? Maybe.

I lost my grandma

Financially I am so in the whole it isn't funny. I have about 25 grand in student loans and counting. I still have 2.5 months of student teaching. So by the time I'm done it is gonna be about 30 grand. Yeah. Stoked about that. Chiro and PT bills not helping on that front either.

My back hurts worse today than yesterday. Not a good sign.

B and I are living in a hole, with mold. I doubt he's ever going to want to get married.

So it actually sounds like I'm having a mope fest. But I'm in a really good mood today. Dealing with reality and not wanting to off myself, that is a good sign eh?

Do I always just bitch on this here blog?

2006-10-01T15:53:00.000-07:00

I need a photo... here ya goooos... me thinking about how lame it is to be injured in your back and not be able to do a damn thing. No yoga, no runs, no softball, couldn't even go to work! LAME ASS.

I got a haircut, was feeling pretty gross. It looks better, but I still feel kinda gross. Not being able to do anything besides lie around will do that to ya. I got a couple of inches off. Hope I don't have "the Rachel." Kinda feels like it.

It is beautiful outside. I gotta get out there.

I am definitely allergic to my classroom. I had to take a couple of days off because of my back and now my lips are fine. Or maybe I am just allergic to working. Ya, that is it. I wonder if I can get some kind of disability for that.

I finished second season of Grey's Anatomy yesterday and was balling. Yes, crying for a long time. It was soooooooooo sad when Denny died.

Pleased to say I have been able to sit up all day and haven't needed to lay down because of extreme back pain. Yes! Improvement. I miss yoga however.

At least I have time to watch season two of Grey's Anatomy now

2006-09-29T09:10:00.000-07:00

I've been out of commission for two days... the chiro said I slipped the disc out of alightment because my hips are crooked a then I developped scoliosis. The muscles in my scapula are hyper mobile as is my back, while the hips are tight and therefore, something had to give. He gave me an adjustment yesterday so it is feeling better, still debilitating though. I can't pull anything, or lift anything unless my arm is straight down by my side. I have stayed home from work cause I am trying to get this thing before it gets worse. If it got any worse, I wouldn't be able to get out of bed at all. I HATE THIS!!!! I feel like a fat lazy slob. Too bad I can't do anything to help. I am going to get a scan on my back in a few minutes, to see what the problem really comes from, yesterday I was too swollen to get the scan. Tomorrow he's going to give me another adjustment. Man, I should have been a chiropracticter, they RAKE IN THE DOUGH.
Ah, no, I like being a teacher, and being poor. Well, the first is true.

2006-09-27T20:15:00.000-07:00

I just majorly screwed up my upper back. Scoliosis fucking sucks and now I can hardly breath. And it wasn't green onions, my lips are back into Ebolla phase.

This is just great.

No more sausage lips

2006-09-25T17:14:00.000-07:00

I am allergic to green onions, that is what was making my mouth weird. Going back to normal, almost there but lips are cracked from healing, it is always something with me.

Sooooo, on the exciting front, I am getting a massage in an hour. My scoliosis has been KILLING me and it is time to get some attention.

Winter is coming soon, I'm wearing a sweat shirt. It is really grey this afternoon and the wind is cold. Maybe I am just woos. How do you spell woos? Woss? no, hmmm.

Does anyone know of a place near the beach in Carlsbad, under 1400, allowing dogs? Want a place of our own.

In Meg style I am going to do a list

1. Coolest things- my ipod, my bro emailing me and calling me much more, Cava (Spanish bubbly)
2. Weird food cravings of late- Saltines, been wanting to eat just saltines
3. Funniest students- EQ, JC, and JY telling me how much they love me everyday- they def. all want an A
4. Most annoying thing- not being paid
5. Best yoga classes- did 54 sun sals on Thursday for equinox, it was so invigorating
6. Best putter of head on knee- Lander
7. Random fact- I am not having any alcohol except for a little on the weekends. Good habit.
8. Time that I have to get up which is way too early- 5:40.

Allergies? Or Ebolla?

2006-09-20T16:38:00.000-07:00

My lips are puffy and red and have been for several weeks. I look like I have been drinking Kool-Aid and believe me, I haven't been. Could it be green onions? I am not allergic to onions in general, but I've been eating them more lately and I've been trying to figure out what it could be and that is the only thing that I can think of.

My classroom is a moldy mo-fo, as is my house. I get headaches everyday now and my eyesight is whack. It might be the fluoro lights, which f-in suck butt. I'm actually kinda freaking out, I am not a hypocondriac either. Just stuff is weird. Things are tasting weird in the mornings too.

Anyone have any ideas? Meg? Susan? My students are telling me... you look tired! Your eyes are puffy. I'm not feeling all that stressed about my incredible work load either, so it isn't stress. And the deal is that I have been sleeping a lot, I think it is something going on internally. Maybe it's Ebolla and my lips are going to rot off like a chewer. Ewwwww.

efficiency

2006-09-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

I've gotten a ton of stuff done today, such a great feeling. Let's see if I can continue to be productive throughout the rest of the day. Sometimes I get bursts of productivity, and then I'm over it and on the couch eating ak mak crackers.

So far today I've...
Done led second series
laundry
Got my car washed
Went to Rite Aid, Trader Joe's, and Jimbo's
Done four assignments
Written emails
Vacuumed
Loaded 8 cds to my Ipod

Alright, go Liz!! She's on a roll!!! But now I'm tired, so out come the ak maks.

Thoughts, in no semblance of order

2006-09-12T21:59:00.000-07:00

At night I am pretty much mentally spent. I can't really extend too much more brain power so I'm just going to record some of the stuff going on these days.

I GOT AN IPOD!!! Yippee! Thanks ma for the early (very early) xmas gift! I am going to use it in class on Thursday. We are going to talk about monsters! I am going to play some Jaws music to introduce the idea.

I did yoga on my own today. Was sore and tight, but glad I was there. I have been really pushing it with school, I bet I walk 3 miles per day, just in the classroom. Teachers are very active, or atleast ones that are trying to be good at teaching. So it is great to not be behind a desk. Speaking of that, I saw my old boss today, for whom I used to sit behind a desk and do stupid crap. SOOOOO glad I am not in that mental/physical headspace anymore. I am glad I didn't have to talk to him, he kinda bugs.

We won big tonight in softball!!

My scoliosis is really bad and I need a massage. I wish I could afford getting them regularly, or at all. It hurts when I do any leg behind the head stuff.

I've been getting headaches. I think I drink too much coffee, but it is decaf. Oh well, gotta have some liquid pleasures in life.

Little mind left

2006-09-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

I've got through my first two weeks of student teaching relatively unscathed. I have 4 classes of 40 Seniors. English Lit. I love these kids. As long as I keep firm control of the classroom, things go well. I only have one kid that is really trying to push my buttons- I think I will just try to have a little private talk with him. Either that, or give him the backhand. Hey, he's probably 18 so I probably wouldn't get too much flack!

The classroom is so diverse! Kids from every ethnic background- Samoan, Black, Hispanic, white, German foreign exchange students, white kids, Asians, Indian. The are usually only a few white kids. I like this diversity as Encinitas is white and rich, yoga is elite too. Anyway, it feels good to be around kids that are forging their way through, not getting the easy ticket.

I got my legs into lotus in karanda vasana on monday. Coolio. I wish I could have gone to the Willie Nelson show. BUT- i can't do anything now. Not getting paid while still working sucks. The life of a student teacher. I think I should be able to walk straight into a job though second semester.

I was so tired last weekend after my first week of teaching, I was pretty much jello. I am feeling pretty good today though.

yoga + alcohol

2006-08-27T17:20:00.000-07:00

Drank too much last night/afternoon. 2nd series with a hangover = unhappiness

Indentured Servitue

2006-08-26T13:13:00.000-07:00

I start my student teaching Monday. I am afraid. I have five classes, of 40+ Senior English Students. Yes, Afraid I am.

I had a great week. On Monday I saw Tiff's cute new place, even found it without directions as my cell phone decided to die. (Mysterious rebirth however). Watched a flick and had some girl talk-

Thursday hung out with a great group of girls... from every corner of the the country- NYC, the south, WA state, and of course our lone cali girl. We had a wide range of conversations- yoga, sex, boys, kids, sex, yoga. All why enjoying the beauty of wine and girlfriends. Makes me sane to hang out with the girls and realize that we are all going through the same mind-crap. Feelings of inadequacy, relationship ups and downs, career frustrations, money issues, and kids. Though we range the spectrum in background and mindsets, it is great to have a convention on these different issues, and to feel accepted for what you have to say. When I left, I though of the diner conversations from Sex in the City. The group of women with different ideals and experience, that support each other in whatever. I hope I continue to get to know these women. They are rock stars.

Structure

2006-08-20T20:29:00.000-07:00

I grew up in a very normal family. The family worked, ma worked part time. We partook in many extra curricular activities, became disciplined, knew that whatever you really wanted required working towards it. This was ingrained, therefore, Mysore Style Ashtanga yoga has made sense to me all along. You go through a long of daily hardwork. Sometimes you feel like poo, sometimes you can't imagine how you ever thought it was difficult.

I am a structured creature. However, my "strucutre" has changed so often throughout the years, that perhaps a being changeable is my structure. For example, when I was living in New York, "everyday" I practiced in the afternoon because I worked in the morning. Then... when work changed... "Everyday" I practiced in the morning, then it changed back again. These three thoughts of "everyday" happened over 7 months in NYC total. I only wanted to stay there for a little while, but my reality exists daily. Perhaps this is a good thing, perhaps not.

For example- I have been working mornings to afternoons. I feel like I don't do yoga anymore. Well, intellectually this isn't true... but it feels true. I don't do my routine which was working so well just a couple of months ago- get up, have Komboucha, practice, then go to work. NOW, I teach, then wait around and do yoga in led classes or by myself. Basically, the routine is not there, making things so much harder. Perhaps this is my yogic challenge, getting out of a normal comfortable routine and challenging myself to be what I consider the true tough yoga chic, the one who has to practice on her own. Yep, these women exist all over. They don't have Tim or whomever that they keep returning to, they have to just return to that boring old person, themselves, and truly comfront them. Ahhhh. Self practice is tough. But I once heard that yoga mirrors life. Your daily yoga practice provides exactly what you need every day. Everyday your practice reflects what is going on physically and emotionally, and your yoga practice forces you to confront these issues and direct them towards something greater.

But what if something greater doesn't exist? I have a REALLY hard time accepting Hindu practices, but it has provided me with my own form of Soma (yoga of course). How can yoga come from a practice which also promotes the caste system. No one is "untouchable."

Great visit at the beach today with a bud, decent yoga, and falafel for dinner. I think B is thinking about eating meat again (he went veggie after meeting me almost 2 years ago though I never tried to convince him to do so). He is talking about meat all the time. It is getting really old, funny thing is, not one ounce of me desires to eat meat. I guess if it were consuming my thoughts I would go for it. But I do believe wholeheartedly in Ahimsa. Or perhaps I am truly just a creature of habit?

She works hard for her money

2006-08-17T09:57:00.000-07:00

Last night I hear that B has all these rich uncles. Like multimillionaires. I was thinking, well, they could just give us 1. Just one little measley mil. It wouldn't make a bit of difference to them. We could just, you know, take it off their hands!

It sucks knowing I'll never be able to afford a house here, not that I want to stay here forever, but it is gonna suck leaving friends. Like really suck.

29 and so fine

2006-08-14T17:37:00.000-07:00

It was my 29th birthday yesterday. It was great. Most of my friends remembered and called, and all of my family called. My ex even sent me a very nice email. Not bad. A perfect day really. Went to second series in the morning, had breaka, went and got coffee with the man, and then ate at Piatti's in La Jolla. He opened a bottle of Pinot Noir, a '99 Chehalem. One word, yummy.

So my brother is getting a divorce. It is really sad. The whole situation is so wacked. How can two people who were so in love a few years ago now be communicating in one liner emails. I know that B and I have some issues, but I can't imagine having it end so dryly. I hope the best for both of them, I hope they can find someone to better suit each of them.

One the marriage front, I wonder if B will ever propose. Not likely, I think he had well enough of marriage (11 years married, ending 3.5 years ago) and I think I will have to basically threaten him with leaving, and probably do it for a while. That is great, I will have to strong arm him into marrying me, not the best way eh? But, he's great! And I love him. Why doesn't he want to marry me? It'll be two years soon, what else does he need to know to know that I am the one for him? I wonder. I'm getting old man. Arggggg, did anyone else go through this?

Zitti zit zit

2006-08-08T16:51:00.000-07:00

I'm almost 29- just a few more days and I am having a huge zit fest on my face. I wonder if not doing yoga (hence not detoxing) will do this. I haven't been able to practice as being home I was very busy and now all of a sudden I have 5 huge mo-fos on my face.

I'm doing yoga tomorrow, yep, on moonday. gotta do what ya gotta do. This is getting gross.

Went home to Washington for a few days, so fun. Caught up with a friend who was having a (Surprise engagement) party. (Jealous) They are sooooooo happy and I'm looking forward to their wedding, though the location is yet undetermined as she is American, he is Italian and they live there, but they are looking to Mexico cause the fam in Italy is going a bit nutzoid over the whole issue. Italy would be sweet, but Mexico much more practical so we'll see.

Today I pretended I was rich and I liked it

2006-08-01T14:40:00.000-07:00

I slept in til 815. I went to yoga, went out to lunch with a gf and gossiped, I went shopping at Anthropologie and dropped a serious load of cash. I got coffee. I am now going to the beach.

This is the life.

Neptunes

2006-07-30T21:13:00.000-07:00

My brother sent me these photos. Back in the old days
pre freak out about high dives, on my swim team, named Lewis-Clark Neptune Swim Team (for the towns of Lewiston and Clarkston) at our local swim meet would have some father of a swimmer dress up as "King Neptune," climb up on the high dive as we were listening to the Star Spangled Banner. At the conclusion we would chant, Water Water H2O, Neptunes Neptunes, Go Go Go! And Kind Neptune would jump in. Now I live on Neptune, actually getting used to the place, great being able to walk to surf (went out tonight). Everything comes full circle...

A friend of my bro's works at the local newspaper and recently sent him this photo from the late seventies, before even my time (I began swimming in 85). Anyways, this photo brought back a flood of emotion... Oh the good old days, high dives, rides at K-mart (sans safety bars), sitting in the back of trucks...etc. We are too regulated.

I am going home Wednesday through Monday. Stoked, I need some family time, and some good old Clarkston River Time.

Stay cool-

I know you are on the edge of your seat wondering what could and will be happening on the next installment of "Liz's so called Life"

2006-07-23T13:30:00.000-07:00

I had a great, albeit sweat-fest practice. Love those days. Cruisy.

Decided I'm going to go home to Clarkston for a few days in a week and a half. I need some family time. Shopping, manicures, haircut, and hopefully a massage as well. Love being spoiled by the madre. The condition I'm in right now- terrible hair, won't even speak of the nails, my clothes are all pretty much full of holes, and I need a massage like it is nobody's business.

I need to crank out a couple of assignments, then it is off to the beach. Hello, how freaking hot and humid is it!! This weather is really weird.

I went running yesterday, how random is that?

This place sucks, but....

2006-07-20T21:25:00.000-07:00

But I can hear the waves in our bedroom and right now as I am doing some school work. An ocean breeze is coming through the window. Blissful.

Jobby job is good, I love teaching and hangin with kids. Which is good cause I've spent fifty billion dollars on getting this MA and I better freaking enjoy it.

Dingy

2006-07-18T10:39:00.000-07:00

Our new place is dingy... but atleast it is somewhere to lay our heads for a couple of months. Hopefully we will be able to find our own place in a couple of months after saving up some cash and when the post summer prices are lower.

I am teaching in the mornings now, so starting tomorrow I am going to be getting up insanely early and doing a self practice at the shala. Wish me luck, I just couldn't turn down the extra hours and I need to get used to getting up that early anyway as I will be doing this for the school year from here on out. Blah, work shmurk.

I was so tired yesterday. Exhausted all day. I don't like feeling like everything is just so exhausting that all I am good for is sitting on the couch. I crashed out at like 9pm. Still run down from being sick.

Not much else to report. Super busy this week. Two more weeks and then my class is finished. August is going to be great!!! no classes- just hanging on the beach time

Later skaters

Queen Neptune

2006-07-14T09:57:00.000-07:00

Soooooo, B found us a place! Yippee! It is just a room, but it is on Neptune, the coolest street in North County by far, well, that is my opinion anyway. Love it! And... the clincher is that it is going to be in a house with a couple of cool, chill folks, and best of all, we are going to be paying just under 700, total! So that means I am only going to come up with 350 for rent and probably 50 or so for utilities. Yep, like that number. After my last house that was so expensive, this is a welcome change. How sweet is that. Roll out of bed onto the beach. We are going to start moving our stuff in this weekend. I'm super stoked.

We are dog sitting for an adorable Australian Sheppard. Her name is Annapurna (a himalayan mountain range) and she's a doll. B loves her too. Last night he was sitting on the couch and purna was curled at his feet. Adorable. Too bad dogs are such a difficulty. Ya, they're great, but tons of work and after our difficulties finding places to live allowing dogs, it tries one's patience.

Working at an ESL school, it is going well, we are going to watch a film this arvo so it's going to be a good day! My old job STILL hasn't sent me my final check though I've called repeatedly. AND< my old landlord hasn't given me my deposit back- NOT FREAKING COOL. I've called him twice and he hasn't responded to my calls. WTF! He has 1400 bucks of ours, sure we won't be getting all of it back, but the majority! So lame, give me my f-ing money.

Yeahhhhh ITALY!

2006-07-09T14:53:00.000-07:00

For some reason I am super stoked about Italy winning. I love the underdog I guess. That was a sweet game and for those who watched, how crazy was the red card against Zidane??!! I could not believe that he did that, and with 10 to go in OT! He's never going to live that one down-

Beach day yesterday and it was gorgeous. I love surfing without a wet suit, one of the best things in the world, really. It must have been 72 in the water and I was out there, loving life, and stoked to be in SD. This is why I live here. The summers rock. Not too hot, warm ocean, some waves, friends hanging on the beach. Life is good.

Still homeless, but that is a tired subject so I am not going to dwell. Am dog sitting for a week though starting tuesday so we'll have a place to hang our hats for atleast a week.

I start my summer teaching job tomorrow which is good, and then start a schedule on tuesday of 1-430. Perfect! Yoga in the am, then a surf, then work for a while. Ahhhh, the good life. I'm obviously in a good mood, must be the post win glow.

I went to second series this morning. Rough coming back, feels like I'm having to learn it all again. My upper body is weak, my right hip is ridiculous trying to do pasasana in Karandavasana, and my back bends are pretty poor. I am definitely way behind where I was pre-trip, but what can you expect after not even being able to walk a week ago.

I went out with the girls last night, and was so good, only one margarita! Good Liz! Well, we won't count the two rum and cokes pre-party :)

Back from the Dead

2006-07-07T12:06:00.000-07:00

I'm back in Encinitas. I got sick last wednesday and ended up in the ER on Saturday. I was sooooooooooo sick. I finally figured out that it was something called the "Coxsackie" virus. I had huge red bumbs that are now bruises all over and a fever, joint pain, and headache. And like 30 sores in my mouth. There were several times I couldn't even walk, my body was rebelling. I haven't been that sick or in so much pain since having Malaria in Africa. It was THAT BAD. I am a wreck, but am now able to walk, actually did some yoga this morning though the attempt was pretty poor. Oh well, time to heal and taking it easy is the recipe.

I am homeless, doesn't look that like that situation is going to change anytime soon either. No where that is accepting dogs, nor where we can afford to live. B doesn't seem to be in any big hurry either. Yeah, life in the van. Oh well, it could be worse, I could be sick again. Nothing was worse than that.

It is good to be home. Well, no home, but you know what I mean. I am playing catch up with my school work and am currently procrastinating. I need to get some stuff done now actually, but i need food so it is going to have to wait a little while longer!

No yoga

2006-06-28T11:02:00.000-07:00

I need some yoga, but have no where to do it. It is going to be rough when I get back. Out of shape, and super tight. Fun stuff. Ma and pa are coming down today. Sweet! Good ol ma got me and B a hotel room for the night too, sweet- bring on the shower baby, and the freaking AC. We are at the public library in Redmond, B has to work so I'm going to see if I can find a laundry place- all my clothes are filthy, not just slightly dirty, gross dirty.

Bend

2006-06-26T09:08:00.000-07:00

So no yoga pretty much this whole trip. Lots of driving and sitting. It is going to be rough getting back into it, but oh well, good to get a break from the same old same old.

We are in Bend, Oregon. Cool place. Hopefully going to get some hiking in tomorrow. I need some exercise.

We were kinda bored in Trinity Alps, not much to do if you don't have a boat. It was soooo flipping hot, as it has been everywhere, so we couldn't even think about doing anything away from the water. Hiking? Forget it, too hot after 8am.

I spoke to my mom this morning, she's going to come down and meet us in Oregon. Ahhh, she'll get a hotel room and I'll get a decent shower and some coveted AC. Will be great to see her and have some mom time.

How is everyone? I'm so stiff and grody, but heh, that is life.

SF, now that's cool

2006-06-19T17:48:00.000-07:00

I love love love San Francisco. Now why can't it just be located in San Diego? This town rocks. We are here at a friend of B's and got in last night. We are getting school work and work work done so that we can head up to the mountains manana. We are going to go up the coast and then cut in on highway 36 (probably) to get to the Trinity/Shasta area... Stoked for that. I hope we'll stay for a while, not sure we're going to make it up to Oregon cause we might be back in SF on the first for a party at a friend's place, we'll see.

So this is what we've done so far (without a camera to document it, my camera isn't working f-ing hell).

We left wednesday evening after a LONG FREAKING DAY of moving crap, cleaning, taking stuff to goodwill, grocery shopping, etc, etc. Gosh I was glad that day was over. That night I pretty much crashed out and B got us all the way up to Ventura. We spent the next morning in Ventura and then we had some breaka at an old school dinner. I had old fashioned oat meal :) then we went to some wineries, Foxen and Beckman. Foxen was cool, super rustic, but a little pompous. Beckman was not pompous, but not as good (still quite good though). Then we headed up to SLO and stayed in a park. HI, how expensive should camping be? NOT 25 bucks in my opinion. I prefer sleeping on the side of the road, but most places don't allow that.

So the next day we went to a great place called Fiala in Edna, right outside of San Luis. Then we went to the winery "Baileyana" where they told us about a free concert in the park that night in town. We stayed for the concert and checked out San Luis. We both LOVE LOVE that town. Smaller, less traffic, ocean, wine, stuff to do downtown. Great place. THen we went to Morro Bay the next day, went for a walk on the beach, had some lunch and then drove to Big Sur. This was a mistake and we should have known better than going on the weekend, but we drove through a Gorgeous but windy Big Sur and couldn't find any campsites. NOT A ONE was available so we drove to Santa Cruz and stayed at my aunt's place. She wasn't there cause she is up in Idaho with my mom for a little vacation, but it was good to wash our stuff, do some shopping, shower...etc.

We came up to SF last night and met up with his friend. He took us to Absynthe, a really nice french restaurant. It was so late and I knew I wanted to go to yoga so I didn't eat (I had eaten earlier), but I did have two glasses of lovely wine.

I went to Yoga Tree this morning and practiced with Clayton. I liked the space a lot. It reminds me both of Patanjali and of the yoga shala in Seattle. Old, not pretentious, cool, good energy. The students were mostly doing first, I felt like a bit of an exhibitionist with my handstands and tic tocs, but hey, that is my practice and I'm not going to apologize! I couldn't really figure out what he wanted me to do with the backbending. I had done my typical three, then standing, then 5 drop backs, then three tic tocs, two stand ups, and then I asked him to help me with Vristikasana, and it was like he had never adjusted in that pose before, he didn't really do much for it, but oh well. He did give a great paschi adjustment that I'll have to tell Rich and Kiran about.

Well, that was long winded, but it will be a good reminder of my trip when I look back at my blog. Hope all y'all are doing well, keep in touch, I'll check in soon.

Blast off

2006-06-14T10:42:00.000-07:00

Hopefully we are getting out of here today. Still a lot to do- cleaning, groceries, drop off car, go to RiteAid, one more trip to storage unit. B is eating something, I just finished up the rest of this week's school work.

I'll stop in sometime along my travels to give an update, in the mean time, adios amigos!

stuff stuff stuff

2006-06-12T21:43:00.000-07:00

I never think I have much stuff and then I move... arg, it is like a sea of unending boxes. what is it all? Maybe the storage unit will burn down and then I will be free of it all... kind of cool to think about, well not that cool I guess, I just like the thought of being vagabond, with no ties, no material possessions, just me, the road, and B. Nice-

Classical music rocks.
Roastarama tea is yum.

Made it back to yoga, wasn't as bad as I was expecting. I took it easy on the backbends, no cirque du soleil, but I made it up through Karandavasana and with relatively no pain.

I'm back baby, I'm back.

One or two more trips to the storage unit, a couple more yoga practices, a softball game, a trip to trader joes, a packing session into the VW... and then we are on the road.

Gettin close

2006-06-10T22:28:00.000-07:00

We have moved most of our stuff, still got the bed, table, tv, and stuff to go. Amazing how much can fit in a house. We put a bunch of stuff out front with a sign that said "Free." It was gone in about an hour. (Clothes, my ex roomie's futon and big yellow thing, and this piecer green couch that someone had gotten rid of). Cleaning out the barn feels good :)

I don't know if I'll be able to do yoga by monday, my ribs are still tweaked. Hopefully I can get a few practices in before we leave Wednesday. Hoping for blast off by noon-

So many places to go! Three weeks of unscheduled time... wha wha? OH yeah, bring that shit on!!!

No yogi training

2006-06-07T19:56:00.000-07:00

B refers to yoga as Yogi training, (rhyming with Jedi). No yogi training for a while for me. I am hurt. Yep, hurt, and pretty badly. I have strained a muscle in my ribs and I can't do anything. I have to take some time off yoga. This is hard for me, but perhaps this is an exercise in the path of yoga itself, non-attachment to the physical practice.

I am soooooooo ready for our vacation starting on the 15th. Get me out of here. If I have to see one more Hummer I'm gonna die. Yep, just keel over. Granted, so cal is great in many ways, but right now I'm feeling REALLY over the mindset here. Hmmm, maybe this is my yoga lesson of the week- Non-judgement. Is this part of yoga? Probably. Just feeling weird about the money thing here- So much money- and when you don't have it, nor really care to have an abundance, it is like you don't really fit in. But perhaps this is my perception only and reflects some kind of self confidence issues as I don't have any money, nor do I care to have an abundance. I like that word, abundance, but it can be used in strange ways. Some anusara people talk about abundance and relate it to material wealth. I wonder how and when that translation came about.

I heard something disturbing. I won't name names, but someone was talking about how she wants to meet someone and the qualities she would like to find in a partner. These qualities were all very honorable, nice to her and her kids, responsible, mature, like minded, etc. The person she was talking to said "you need to be more specific in what you want, HOW will this guy treat you, and HOW MUCH money per year will he make, etc." This last comment blew me away. Is that really number two on the list? Wow, my perception of this person has now changed quite a bit. I am disappointed. But heh, that is life, good to know I guess.

Back to the day in my life, we got our post office box today, going to arrange for a storage space and start moving our junk in there this weekend. Next thursday or friday (depending on whether we get all our crap moved out in time) we will be heading for the hills. I love to hike and to sleep outside. I also just love spending time with B. As is probably evident, I am in love. Ahhhh, it's so great. And it just seems to get better all the time. Did anyone ever see the Notebook? I rented it when B was in Cabo and I was expecting to be making fun of it the whole time. Well, I loved that movie and I swear, like the beatles said "All you need is love." (I hope that was the Beatles anyway, besides, you get the point). Anyway, I am in love and it's probably the best place in the world to be.

In re: to vacation, I've heard that the Trinity Alps are spectacular and not crowded and so perhaps we will get up there. We are also thinking about moving to Oregon after I've done my student teaching and perhaps we will have enough time on this little excursion to get up there. Gosh, I am all about vacation.

I am drinking a glass of Syrah, oh yummy. Just had some soup. Feel fat but heh, I am a girl with body issues, that's what we do best. B is working on his van which equals B is frustrated. I had some stuff to do for school so I was gone for a few hours this arvo (as say the aussies) and I think he's been working on it ever since. Love a man all dirty and sweaty!

I wish I had a swimsuit just like I did back then

2006-06-06T17:27:00.000-07:00

Yep, just got this from my cousin (sitting cross legged). Now those were the days. Exploring out in the almond orchard and pretending to be wonder woman. Look at my big belly!

Spaced Out

2006-06-04T18:38:00.000-07:00

Was in Idyllwild working at a retreat for Alison. It was at altitude and wow did I feel it! I was soooooo light headed at the first two practices I couldn't believe it. I ate a ton to try to ground me. It seemed to work. Now that I'm back at sea level I feel spacey again. And tired, so tired.

Good to break the monotony and get out of town for a few days. Interesting to get to know some yoga people a bit more. It is hard to get to know people at a deeper level when you only practice with them and say your pleasantries on a day to day basis. Much better to get the time to just be with them.

Right knee aching, intercostal muscle mini-freak out, a head in the clouds, just another day. B is at the Hank Williams III gig in Solana Beach... I want to go but Lizzie just too tired to move. I think movie and couch tonight, can't even process the concept of anything more.

FREEDOM!!

2006-05-28T11:25:00.000-07:00

I finished my hell class yesterday and now this month I have a super light class and a three week vacation. SWEET!!! I'm stoked!

Meg says I need to get out more, suppose she's right. I want to go to see a show at the Belly Up, love that place, going to look into it.

I cut my armpit shaving this morning. OWWW.

Gorgeous outside, going to go to the beach today

Now that.... is a good man

2006-05-25T18:23:00.000-07:00

I am eating Pasta Fagioli. B cooked today and it is yum. He is also trying to find us a place to live, puts the toilet seat down, and makes the bed. Yep, it's official. He's a good one. When we met in Dec. 04 after learning that I am vegetarian he said that he had always wanted "to try" vegetarianism. After a while he said he'd try if for a year. Well it has been a year and a half + and he's still veggie. I wonder when he'll eat meat, if ever. I think he would feel that he was commiting some adulterous action against me (WHICH IS RIDICULOUS, I never tell people what they should eat and never told him that). Anyway, it sometimes still boggles me, but it sure is nice to have a veggie man, makes things easier. Maybe that is why he has remained veggie. Relationships are challenging, fantastic, but challenging, maybe he thinks that this will make it easier?

Oh, it's summer. I can hear a sprinkler, an old school one, with the fast, then slow cadence. It is meditative. (Funny that). Reminds me of being a kid, wearing keds, drinking Pepsi and eating Red Vines. (Hello sugar coma). I grew up on the Snake River and I loved those hot nights and it staying light until 10pm, riding on the ski boat.

Eww yuck, lander has the farts again. That dog has the worst, and most frequent farts of any animal species that I have ever encountered. But, he is a sweety, well, a freak, but a sweety.

I had to drive freaking everywhere today and on a tight budget that hurts. I bet I dropped 20 bucks on gas alone today. O-side to Encinitas for yoga, back home, to Escondido (Work), to Mission Valley (to drop off school crap), back to O-side, then going back to Cardiff (to meet up with my home girls), then home. Ok, that is, let me count-20, 20, 30, 40, 20. Geez, I am ruining the planet all on my own today. 130 miles of driving today. Ridiculous.

Yoga was mellow this morning, my hips are tight. Why is that? I am bow-legged, I wonder if that has anything to do with it. I also have a 3 yr old hamstring injury. My previous teacher Govinda once told me that hamstring issues stem from unexpressed rage. LOL!! I think I verbalize being pissed off pretty well.

Alright all you hoochie mamas and papas... have a good night

Crankin it out

2006-05-23T17:19:00.000-07:00

Got loads of school work... arg. All my creativity goes into my volumes of lesson plans that I am creating (20 full length... so like 60 hours of work), Hence the very uninspired posts, so those who read this blog are probably bored out of their minds. I don't know who reads this as only Megsta comments...(go meg) Come on, give me some love commenting bloggers! Sorry, I must be getting a bit dilirious...

Something really pissed me off this afternoon, but it is a small blog world so I am not going to blab.

My change in blog template reflects my desire for change. Right now, this is the only kind of change I can make! Soon enough though, we'll be on our vacation, moved out, heading into a new job, and new experiences. Just get me through this class... (ends this weekend) and it will be the start of summer for lizzi-liz... I love you summer

That's Karma Yoga-Yo

2006-05-21T18:38:00.000-07:00

"The performance of actions dwelling in union with the Divine, removing attachment and remaining balanced ever in success and failure." Yesterday at Ali's class she was talking about a book called "The New Earth." From what she was saying, the book is basically about Karma Yoga. Letting the action pass through you...

So I have tons of shit to do and am trying to do it via Karma yoga. Not getting too attached to the process or to the end result, just doing it and taking pleasure in the fact that there is enjoyment in just performing a task. Atleast that is what I am trying to convince myself of.

On particularly frustrating days I try to REALLY ingrain these thoughts in my head, just go through it and appreciate the experience... just let it pass. Funny how at the restaurant where I work I need to put this in practice practically every second. The chef there can be ridiculous. He is a childish ego maniac. When he gets stressed he'll say "you fucking bitch, shit fucking bitch... mother fucker..." to all of the servers. Ok, except for one of them, the only male server. And of course he never says anything to him. He'll also call his (female) sous chefs mo fos too. How pathetic. Ok, hello, are you a pre pubescent dilinquent child? yes, I guess so. Won't be missing that job. (I am going to quit when we go on vacation) YIPPEE. The money isn't worth it. I need to get a better serving job when I get back in July. I hope to have two jobs in July, I'll be teaching ESL and hopefully there no one will be calling me a mother fucking bitch. Atleast if they do I can give them an F.

stuff

2006-05-19T16:01:00.000-07:00

Supposedly the moon is in Venus. If you believe in those sorts a things it means that our emotions might be wreaking havoc on our sanity... Quite possible. I sometimes have these overwhelming emotions that consume my mind and body. Not that this is always a bad thing, sometimes it's fun! I don't think I believe in Vedic Astrology but it does provide restitude when your thoughts feel like they are marauding your life.

Anyways, things are good today. Need to stop procrastinating now.

Bali

2006-05-18T20:21:00.000-07:00

Couldn't get to yoga this morning cause traffic was so bad. After twenty minutes of 2 mph I had had enough. There was a semi that overturned and blocked off pretty much all of 1-5. I hate So cal traffic. I am actually getting pretty sick of the area in general. Hello, how much more expensive can it be? I am dreaming of my days living in Bali where everything was cheap and I made good money...mmmm.... I dream of Bali.

My ex had his birthday, his 30th, a couple of days ago. We met in Bali in 2001. Weird, I kinda feel weird. Maybe cause i've had a glass of wine and am getting all sentimental...I met him 5 years ago when my life was so different... Ah, when we were young! Not that things aren't good now, just things are different. I need a mix of then and now, the feeling of doing whatever I wanted with my life, and the feeling of being content with that choice. I have experienced both of those feelings, yet I haven't experienced them at the same time...

Blood and Homelessness

2006-05-16T21:44:00.000-07:00

Tonight at softball Andrea was in left field. She reached for a ball with both hands and, from what I saw, the ball bounced and broke her thumb... Like the bone came out, blood pouring out, not even a wimper. She's awesome. She was sitting in the waiting room for about 2 hours at the ER. Our health care system is ridiculous. I remember a conversation once with an anti-universal health care-ite. Their arguement was "in those systems you have to wait hours to see a doctor." Well, there you go, isn't that what we are dealing with. Hopefully she has health care... scary thought. She is Canadian- hmmm, I wonder how that effects things. Showing my ignorance here. Anyway, our health care system needs serious help and god help anything happening to me as I have no health insurance. Yes, I'm sure there will be several people shaking their head, but it is just the way it is for now, soon things will change once I get my teaching job. Anyway, here's to Andrea taking one for the team.

Second big news of the day is come June 15, we are homeless. Got a call from my landlord and he's selling the place. He has a baby on the way and the cost of the house up in LA and this place's additional 1200 bucks on top of our rent for the mortgage is just too much for him. So, we need to find a place and by the first of July. We are going to be taking a vacation late june so we'll probably just rent out a storage space for a little while and live out of the van. Comes full circle. When I met B I was homeless and I ended up staying with him in the 1985 VW. He had just gotten back to town after a long trip and therefore was also homeless. I had known him only a few weeks and then ended up staying with him for a couple of weeks outside his friends place. Awwww, and we're still together :) The tough thing is finding a cheap, clean place that allows dogs. NOT EASY...

brain damage

2006-05-12T16:18:00.000-07:00

I think my brain just doesn't really work that well anymore. I can't do any assignments for class I am taking, I just feel like I've got not much at all to say. Same as on my blog. I read other people's blogs and they make insightful reflections on daily life occurences. Lately I just am going through the motions... you know?

Doing a double today, that is good...need the dinero.

I'm at the library... hi, why is this old fart checking me out and talking on his cell phone. Both should be illegal. Hello!! he's older than my father- ewwww, gross. Maybe I look old or something? EEEEEK! Ew gross, he just tried to talk to me~~~~~~

Did we turn into a Bikram's studio, or what?

2006-05-10T15:51:00.000-07:00

Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot at practice. It was boiling and I was drenched, yes drenched. Pools of other people's sweat were splatered around the room. Someone doing tic tocs ate it on his own sweat. (Kinda one of those things where you can't help but have a little laugh).

Kombucha is yum. Gingerberry is yummiest. I wish it were cheaper!

B is all flustered trying to do something on his computer. Lander still stinks, going to try to brush his teeth tonight. That should be interesting.

No freaking way

2006-05-09T21:14:00.000-07:00

We won our softball game against a good team. We are actually tied for 2nd in the league. Trippy cause we were tied for last place last season!!! Weird but cool.

I was tired at yoga today, and even more tired afterwards... Hope I'm not getting sick.

Lander has rotten fish breath for some weird reason, and farts non stop. Lovely aroma we've got going here...

A friend in need is a friend indeed

2006-05-08T20:45:00.000-07:00

You ever have those moments when you just want to take your friend by the shoulders, and force them to hear you say "IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY!!!" and then all of a sudden they will realize it, then be fine...? I have a friend going through some relationship stuff and what I want her to know is that truly- it will be ok, this is for the best, she's too great to worry about such stuff- but at the same time I know exactly what it is like to be in that situation. And when you are in that situation all you really want from your friends is a big giant hug and for that feeling of emptiness to disappear. So here's one to you girl, you know who you are, and yes, it will be okay.

I went to the SF ballet yesterday and just got back from the airport. All I gotta say is going to the ballet is just one of those things you gotta do in life. GORGEOUS.

No yoga for three days, kinda nice to have a little holiday. Makes me really want to get back to practice tomorrow.

Going to be teaching ESL for July and August in O'side. Plan on taking a two week holiday in June... YIPPPEEE!! Thinking of going to Oregon and maybe on up to visit the folks and bro.

It's good to be home, B gets home from class soon, it's just me and the puppy waiting. I love having a dog, even though he's a smelly and high maintenance little guy, it's great having him. Makes it feel like a real home.

First series in the morn, lots of sitting over the weekend so I'm looking forward to working the kinks out.

My so called boring life

2006-05-04T19:44:00.000-07:00

Ok, I never do anything but work, school, and yoga. And the thing is, I don't want to. I don't really want to go out. It feels like I know everything that is going to happen and then have a headache the next day. What's the point?

I am going to Santa Cruz this weekend to see the ballet. Thank the good lord above, I gotta get out of So Cal. I am itching for atleast a slight change of pace.

BTW, go "Young Guns." We won our game and we are now 4 and 2. We are 4th overall in the league... Big improvement from last season when we won only 1 game!

I have so much on my mind, but just no energy to articulate it... I wish I had a big Mind-Swiffer to take away all the dust and cobwebs.

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada"

2006-05-01T11:45:00.000-07:00

Gotta love Britney Spears and her incredibly intelligent comments.

Speaking of traveling, I don't. Well, anymore. This year I had all these grandiose plans, and none of them, yep, none, are going to happen. I was supposed to go to Venice with my bro, that didn't happen. I was supposed to visit my girls in NYC, that ain't happening either. Lastly, Alaska with ma in August, and yep, that fell through too. Poor poor pitiful me. Deal is- I need to get my shit together and once I get a teaching job I will be financially independent. Fuck this being poor crap. If I don't get a vacation in June with B I'm going to have a breakdown, and that ain't good for anyone.

I was playing around yesterday doing handstands. I dropped into bakasana twice without falling off my arms. So fun. I did it twice in practice this morning too. Bhandas, joyous bhandas... you are in there somewhere.

Saw the Neil Young movie last night. His lyrics always dive straight into my heart. Makes me think about all sorts of stuff...Missing old loves especially. I think I still have issues about my ex. I wish I could just let it go. Hearts are the slowest to heal, slower than hamstrings even! This song kills me...

I just want to thank you
For all of the things you've done
I'm thinking about you
I just want to send my love
I send my best to you
That's my message of love
For all the things you did
I can never thank you enough
Feel like I'm falling
Falling off the face of the earth

Oh...I just want to tell you
You sure mean a lot to me
It may sound simple
But you are the world to me
It's such a precious thing
That time we shared together
I must apologize
For the troubled times
Feel like I'm falling
Falling off the face of the earth

Mmmmm, Tasty

2006-04-30T10:55:00.000-07:00

Went to the wine bar "Tastes" again last night. Our buddy works there. When I got off work early and called the man, he was there with our friend's folks. They had been there since 3 and he had joined them at around 530. I thought they'd be wasted but B had only had two glasses of wine. Anyway, his folks are super cool. The dad loved me and kept telling B how lucky he is to have me, good reminder! It wasn't gross or anything, he was just really happy for B who he has known for quite a while. After the 3 kids were raised they decided to sell everything and travel around the country by driving RVs to people from the factory to where they live. Pretty wild eh? They love it. They are so young at heart and still give each other kisses on the cheek and little squeezes now and then. They've been together 31 years and they are like newly weds. So cool.

I just finished second series class. It was like most Sundays, not great, not bad. Not much to say there except for that I am really trying to focus on the bhandas and it seems that balances are improving, and that my hamstring may be on the mend. Oh p.s. for all you yogis and yoginis out there, check out this website. Hilarious yet disturbing!

Yesterday at yoga I was filling in for a girl who was on vacation and there was a woman showing some jewelry at the studio. Really cool stuff. Her name is Dhyan Sherri and she lives in Hawaii. One day maybe I'll get her to redo some jewelry of mine.

My scoliosis is starting to act up. The chair sucks, that is probably why.

2006-04-26T16:44:00.000-07:00

Summer List

A girlfriend put a list of things she wants to do this summer on her blog. Good idea!

1. Yosemite- I've never been there. How ridiculous is that?

2. Move into a cheaper place, I really miss living in Leucadia. O'side sucks and the bills are killing us.

3. Plan my dad's 60th bday party

4. Go to Ventura for a weekend

5. Go out surfing more, the freaking water needs to warm the f up

6. Get that freaking pose "Karanda Vasana" figured out

7. Help B figure out a better career path, (though I know this is a personal journey) he needs something besides writing code, he can't stand it!

8. Get my student teaching sorted out

9. Get more massages from Susan!

I guess that's it, hope all you bloggers are well. My back is tweeking today, scoliosis can f off.

2006-04-24T13:02:00.000-07:00

I think this is what I am going to wear to class tomorrow

I don't want to jinx it but...

Yoga has been pretty nice the last couple of days. I haven't been sore (well, only a little) and have seemed to have a steady supply of energy throughout the practice. I think the fact that I've been drinking a lot of lemon water, eating light, having very little wine, and no coffee have all really helped out the soreness issue. Drinking coffee makes me really sore. Does anyone else have this effect? I gave it up a while ago. Feel better for it. B doesn't drink it much anymore either cause it bothers his stomach.

This morning I really enjoyed being on the mat and I didn't feel that rush to "just get done" that definitely happens some days. I was content just being there. I've also really been working on the bandhas and wow that makes a difference in handstands and other balance poses.

I decided against doing the swimming lesson job, I don't have a current WSI and don't have the time to take the class again (nor the patience, money, or willingness to commute to take the class in SD). I hope I can find a little bit of additional work somehow, but next month's class for my Masters is going to keep me really busy so I'll probably be very glad that I have a little bit of time where at the moment I think I should be working more.

Watched a pretty out there movie last night, but I actually liked it. It is called "Morvern Callar" and is about a chic whose boyfriend commits suicide and how she handles it. I definitely wouldn't handle it the way she did but wow, that would seriously freak you out. The morbid side of me has thought sometimes what that would be like to lose someone so close. Yuck, I don't want to entertain that thought any further.

I played softball for a few hours yesterday with my softball buddies, got a sweet sunburn on my neck and chest, of course. I look like a big salmon when I get in the sun. I love being outside but I really have to be careful not to burn.

So I got a spam comment on my last post. Anyone know how to block those? How dumb are those anyway, like you would actually buy into some hoax like that. Do they think we are that freaking dumb?

Gorgeous today. Sometimes when I have time off I don't know what to do with it. I bought a Women's mag for the first time in ages today while I was buying books for my three friends who all had babies on the same weekend. When B saw the mag he asked "Why do all women's mags have sex tips? I mean, how many tips can there be?" Well, I don't know. But there is always value in a good education, eh?

2006-04-22T08:10:00.000-07:00

No Sleep til... 730

I went to bed at 730 last night. We were super busy at work, so I didn't get home from working lunch until 5pm last night. Since I don't have time to eat at work, I hadn't had any food since 10 am so I had dinner and then totally crashed out. Like, in clothes and everything. I guess I really needed some rest.

I have a state exam today at 130 in Vista. Ewwwww. I am going to go study in a few with my friend. I hate tests. I haven't really studied at all. Oh well, if I fail I'll just take it again.

So I can hardly drink at all anymore. I shared a bottle of wine with B on Thursday night. I was sooooooo hungover at yoga on Friday morning. Just gotta not have any more than 2 glasses or I just get all headachey and nauseous. I'm a wimp... but that is good I guess.

I am going to go up to Newport Beach Monday to see about a swimming lesson job. It would be part time and working in La Costa at the community pools there for the richy rich developments. Would be pretty good money and fun, talk about a blast from the past! I haven't taught swimming lessons in a while, takes me back to my youth.

I am back to SF in a couple of weeks to see the ballet with my ma and aunty, stoked! I love going up there and seeing the ballet. This one is called "Sylvia"
I feel so shwanky...

Lander was tripping out last night, I think he was chasing a hornet. A huge one that looked like it had helicopter propellors was in the room this morn.

Stoked for my 1600 buck tax return... sweet!

2006-04-17T13:31:00.000-07:00

B doing the Brian Shuffle... what a nerd! Love him though

Rub a dub dub

I just got an amazing massage. A friend from the yoga studio gave me a GREAT deal and a real massage, none of that wishy washy stuff. She really got into all the knots and sorted out my upper spine (I have scoliosis). It feels so much better, and is back into position, atleast for a while. It was great, she is going to be my new addiction...

I have the day off today, sweet! I am hanging out with the puppy, might watch a flick, and then will probably go for an afternoon walk with my girlfriend. Yoga was good this morning.

If I were a rich woman...

I would get a massage every other day, no every day-I would eat all organic food-I would go on a trip with my main man to Australia to see Lauren-I would do volunteer work somewhere, hopefully doing something actually beneficial-Hmmmm, what else?-Get facials and manicures/pedicures-Get a Subaru Outback- sporty style of course!-Go to the movies more-Drink fine wine-Donate to programs which promote health ed in Africa-Take my fam on a trip somewhere-buy a cool purse... and of course get a sweet pad in Cardiff-by-the-sea.

My materialism is coming off, must be all of the rich folks around me living in so cal. Actually, I am pretty damn happy the way I am, so scratch all that stuff above, well, not the subaru, Australia, and massages.

2006-04-14T14:14:00.000-07:00

YOGA FEELS LIKE DEATH and HOW FUNNY IS THIS YOGA PHOTO?

This morning was so rough on the yoga front. OUCH! Several factors contributed: Two yoga practices Wednesday, moon day, a long walk yesterday, and too much wine last night. I felt so bad, stiff, weak, tired, blah. Hate those days, though they are fairly rare, they sure do punch you in the gut when they happen.

We had dinner on the back deck because it was so warm and summery last evening. I love this house, I am really lucky. Oceanside pretty much sucks, unless you're into Army gear and jacked up trucks, but the house is so homey.

My friend did a cool list on her blog so I'm going to copy her topics and answer them myself... thanks Meg...

Number one thing I'm excited about this week: We are talking about taking a trip to Yosemite in June. I've never been and I can't wait to get the F*%# out of here. I need a break.

Annoying thing of the week: Work has been sooooooooooo slow, I think it is because of it being tax week

Favorite Snack: Still Kombucha and ak mak crackers.... YUMMM

Interesting Happening: The realization that the Buddha's message of "Life is Suffering" sure makes sense and that Detachment is something I really need to focus more upon

My subtle Happiness this week: My gorgeous, sexy, and best lover-in-the-world man

2006-04-12T14:45:00.000-07:00

Death Threats

A girlfriend who is an aide in a special ed classroom had a death threat from one of her students who she had told to... put away his sandwich! That's it! Now he is in a mental institution and saying he's going to kill her. Am I sure I want to become a teacher? Kids are scary.

Did only second series this morning at yoga, no first, cause Tim was gone (I'm being bad). It was super hot and I almost made it into Karanda Vasana, but not quite. One of these days.

I'm having lunch, yum on the Trader Joe's Tomato and Red Pepper soup and crackers. TJs is the only affordable place around.

I am subbing for Drinda tonight at the front desk for the yoga studio, so I might go hard core and do a double today. I think Maria is teaching 1st series and despite her itty bitty size, she gives good adjustments. It's moon day tomorrow so why not.

People always talk about boring blog posts, well there's one for you.

2006-04-08T09:42:00.000-07:00

Tsotsi, sore throats, crazy vines, non-communicating bosses, yoga retreats, clocks

B and I went to the movie last night down in Del Mar. It's amazing we actually left the house. We can be such hermits. After an insanely good dinner of Spring Rolls with peanut sauce, we saw the winner of "Best Foreign Film" called "Tsotsi" which means thug in Africaans. It is a movie out of South Africa and is exceedingly good. I highly recommend it. I love movies that present characters that are on the fringes of society, that do awful things, yet we end up caring for in the end. It makes you think about being so quick to judge people upon one aspect of their life. I wonder if you could dissect people to determine the % of good and the % of bad, what the overall average would be. I would reckon somewhere around 65 % good. What do you think? Anyways, I love complex movies like this, and like "Crash." These are movies that transcend the typical battle of "good and evil" which so much of Hollywood depends on. I can't stand the presentation of one dimentional characters as it is not the way it is. Everyone has a good and bad side. Anyway, I really enjoyed it.

It is so beautiful today, but I think I may be coming down with something. I have a sore throat and have a limited store of energy. Saturday morning housework has kept me busy the last couple of hours and now the man is at the library doing school work. I think I am going to attempt to get some of the wild plants back under control... Wish me luck! Will probably wipe me out, but a gal's gotta do what a gal's gotta do.

Work was slow yesterday, didn't make much money at all. Boo. Thursday was fair though. Too bad I broke a cork, not suprising though as the owner of the restaurant almost broke the next bottle's cork, it was so brittle. Believe me, I have lots of experience opening wine bottles (lush that I am) but this one just disintegrated. Too bad it was a 74 dollar bottle of wine, but K wasn't mad so, whew!

I still need another job as my other boss (well I guess former) is incommunicado. Doesn't return my emails asking if he wants me to come into work. Seems silly and sooooooooooo unprofessional. Whatever, as long as he gives me the rest of the money he owes me. I am over that place. Done. I need to go in and get a couple of things but how lame is that? Used to just tell me like a second before I am supposed to work, "Oh, I don't need you today, see you Monday" or something of the like. This is not the way to run a business, nor the way to keep employees. Oh well, it was the most boring job in the world anyway. So, I do need another little part time job for a while until I get this Masters done. Not long now, but I still have the spring and summer where I need to find more work so I can continue paying rent!

One thing that I am super stoked about is that there is going to be a yoga retreat in Idyllwild and I get to go gratis! A woman from yoga is helping out Alison with a yoga retreat in June and I am going to help out in the kitchen. I've always wanted to get to know Alison better but have never had the opportunity. The fellow Washingtonian seems very interesting and her humility is evident. I am very much looking forward to it, I have never been on a yoga retreat before as they have always been out of my financial reach, actually this one is very reasonable which is cool, only 175 for the whole weekend, that is cheaper than I've ever seen. I can't wait til I am teaching and pulling down a decent income. Thank God for B, he pays for so much, without him I would be living on Top Ramen~ San Diego is so hard financially unless you have a career niche, or you work in some lucrative field.

Trying to think of possible future destinations to live, it wouldn't be for awhile, but B and I are getting tired of the traffic and cost of living here. Hmmmm, it is so hard to figure this out for us. We know we want to be somewhere with plenty of opportunity for outdoor exploration, I would appreciate a good yoga teacher, however not sure this will be possible. I also crave a lower cost of living as I want to buy a house eventually.

I asked B the other night what would be the one thing he wanted to do sometime in life, he said "Have a kid." Lucky he can have a kid at any age, I however, need to get cracking. Getting up there and not even hitched yet. Wha la- my insecurities on my sleeve.

Happy Saturday...

2006-04-05T12:55:00.000-07:00

Thought of the day...

Modern stupidity means not ignorance but the nonthought of received ideas -
Milan Kundera.

Other thoughts of the day...

My right knee is sore
B is the best thing ever
I like the rain
Where am I going to do my student teaching?
My mouth has a strange sore in it, but I won't elaborate,gross
I love my friends
Lots of new babies this weekend! Ya! (Jealous!!!)
I need a job, any offers? HELP!!

2006-04-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

Lander is a weirdo, he is 11, 77 in dog years and he is still afraid of the rain. He gets all twitchy-Obviously, it is rainy and cozy. Think we might have a fire tonight, I am making Calzones! Swiss-Chard with Sundried tomatoes. Yum. Well, gonna try at least, I haven't made them before. No wonder all my clothes are tight! Feeling tubby. However, I had a great yoga this morning. Love those sessions. Super bendy, adequate energy, nice hot room. A friend got back from overseas, dude, he's so freaking skinny it's pretty wild. Here he is off to the left.
Ma went home last night, we had a good visit. She bought me tons of stuff, feel kinda bad about it, like I take advantage a bit. But she seems to like getting me stuff for my cute little house, so I guess I'll take it!
Tried to have a sewing lesson on my inherited sewing machine but it is not working properly so I am not yet the master sewer.
Boring post, not much to say I guess, things are pretty normal... sorry to be boring

2006-04-01T16:33:00.000-08:00

Ma, and then me taking a ride in grandpa's old car that we just found. 1955 Morgan- I gotta get me one of those

2006-04-01T07:33:00.000-08:00

Yoga, Rain, Tummy aches, Shopping Spree, 1955...

Just to start, yoga yesterday was nice. I slept in a bit, until 730 and then got to yoga about 830. I had a long and slow practice. It took a while to get the knots out, but by the end it was bendy city. I grabbed my knees in my last backbend and when Rich let go I was able to balance. That is so trippy. If you would have shown me a picture of that a few years ago I would have thought the person was a circus freak. I guess I've always wanted to be a carny deep down. I got really close to getting my legs into Padmasana, in Pincha Mayurasana, for Karanda Vasana. A little bit more, but the focus is on relax, relax, melt the muscles...easy does it, it might be working, not quite sure yet.

This morning it is gray and the ground is wet. I love a little rain, makes everything so cozy and I don't feel the need to leave my cute little house. On a sunny day I feel that I need to be outside and it is though I am wasting the day if I stay inside. It is a ridiculous sentiment, however, it exists.

B has a sour stomach all the time lately. I think it is cause he is out of Lemon Ginger tea. I hope that is it, we'll get some today and then see.

SHOPPING SPREE yesterday with ma. We went to Pier 1 and got new dishes, so cute. Then to Sur la table, where we purchased a mini-cuisanart, Bed Bath and Beyond for a new floor mat and cookie sheet, then to Antropologie (YA!) where we dropped 350 on a few new tops. ARG, glad she enjoys buying me stuff cause there is no way I could go and spend this kind of money myself.

Today we are going to go up to Orange County and check out a car that my Grandpa, on my mother's side, used to own, we think it is the same one anyways. She has been hoping to find that car, a 1955 Morgan drop head coupe, for her entire adult life. She is going to try to buy it, though the owner might not be interested in selling. We'll see. It should be fun to see the old car, will make her very happy and reminisce in her childhood which is such a treat to see.

I want a vacation... yosemite would be so cool but don't think that will happen. I definitely want a lot of camping here soon, miss it tons. I want to buy B this grill that he wants for camping, just need to come up with an extra 180 bucks.

2006-03-29T16:27:00.000-08:00

NERDS!!! friends, and if you could be good at something what would it be?

Just read a girlfriend's blog and so love that she still refers to her little brother with the nickname "Bruce Lee." Missus O and I were on the swim team as kids and when her little brother Steven started up karate lessons, one of the crew (maybe it was my brother?) started calling him Bruce. So funny that is still being called that. And yes, I am still refered to as "Nerd." to think that I've had that nickname for about 20 years. Probably true as I think about it, I am a bit of a nerd. Have you noticed now though that nerds are cool? Just a thought, but it seems that nerds have it a lot better than they used to.

Since it was moon day B and I went out for a bit of breaka. I had a cafe au lait as I had already had some cereal. He surprises me sometimes, I got up thinking I would go to the gym and when I hit 0 mph traffic I decided to just turn around go home. When I got back he opened the door and said in mock-horror "You left! We never have the mornings together and you left!" Nice to be loved isn't it?

We had our softball game, almost lost, but we conquered in the end. Go Young Guns, the return. That is four wins in a row! I had a couple of good stops and a couple of decent hits. My team is super cool, love hanging out with them post game. We hit up Roundtable every week. B is pretty darn good at softball. Love a man that knows how to swing :)

Another blogger buddy posted about friends and how she's finding it difficult to establish certain kinds of friendships. I got to thinking, thank the man upstairs for a diversity of friends. I love that I have friends all over the world with so many different interests and life experiences. I want to send a xxx out to all my diverse buddies-Lauren, Ina, Emma (the British and Aussie variations), Jen, Aly, Ali, Dan, Megs, Laura, Ari, Brett, Layne, Kyra, Dan, Denis, David, Jackie, Jules, Kel, Nina, Nick, Sally, Skip, Stacia, Amanda, of course my best friend B,... I am BLESSED with killer friends and thank heavens for them bringing me into their lives.

Lastly, for those who have made it thus far into my rambles, I was thinking about what would be the coolest thing to be good at. Hmmm, singing? Surfing-no, maybe? Art. With my current unbearable lightness of being I'll go with being a writer. That would probably be the best... to produce a piece of writing that could endure and resonate. Kundera, Steinbeck, Tolstoy, Annie Erneaux, Maugham. Yep, you're pretty cool dudes. Would love to hear what you bloggers out there would want to be good at-

2006-03-26T15:11:00.000-08:00

...And the Pursuit of Happiness

B recommended a book to me and now that I am going to have a bit more free time I am looking forward to reading it. The title is Happiness. It asks the questions "What is Happiness? What makes us happy? Why do we strive for happiness? And how might we achieve it?" I had French Professor in college who frequently asked the question "Qu'est ce-que c'est ca? D'etre Contente?" What is this thing we call happiness? Good question. We always feel this is just the next step, once we get this or that done or achieved we will be happy. Last night I kept thinking, if I only had a better job.... if I had money I would... I wish my hips were more open so I could do Karanda Vasana... I wish I could take a trip to .... What I do know about the job issue is that I need a jobby job that gives me enough money to live and not feel like a mooch off of B and so that I will be more independent. I can't wait to start teaching once I finish my MA. I can't wait to have enough money to go out with my girlfriends and to be able to buy fresh flowers every once in a while.

It's not like I want a lot. If I had enough money I would....

buy a comfy, modest home
buy all organic food
get my oil changed in my car
Lander needs a new collar
take a little vacation here and there, nothing extravagant
take my mom out to dinner while she is here next week rather than her having to take me out

Is that too much to ask? I am greedy when I compare myself to others. So many people have it so much rougher than I do. But would these things provide happiness. I doubt it. It is always the next thing. And that is why we have our yoga practice. I strive, we strive to be in the moment, to open ourselves to the world that surrounds us NOW, not when I do this or that. Not when I can afford a vacation or when I can buy a house. But my life is good NOW. Family, friends, yoga, and B. I have a great life. Why am I still in The Pursuit of Happiness... ??? Don't I have it. It is a condition of the mind. At times I feel so happy, others I feel very frustrated.

I just opened my Happiness book randomly to see what would be the message trying to be conveyed at this moment, "We come to the world believing that there is such thing as an achievable happiness, that it is desirable and important, and that the things we desire will bring it about. It is not self-evident that any of these things are true..."

What do you think is happiness? At this exact moment my definition of happiness is

A day when I have a great yoga practice, a yummy breakfast with a gingerberry komboucha, a nice phone conversation with my mom, a cuddle with my man, a session with a good book, a walk with a friend in the afternoon, and cooking a yummy dinner to share with someone I love.

Maybe I do have happiness.... hmmmmm. Or maybe a BMW would equal happiness? Who knows. A lot of people seem to think so, maybe they are right?

2006-03-24T17:27:00.000-08:00

Somehow I aced my final exam. I took a three hour test this morning, yuck. It was so hard. Just checked my grade and somehow I managed a 100. Incredible. Throw a few big words in there and your set I guess. Master's programs are some tough stuff.

No yoga for me this morning, wanted to get the test done before this afternoon because I knew it would be tough to do it after work. I am going to Alison's class in the morning.

I am going to go meet my gorgeous boyfriend now at Squid Joes to watch the second half of the basketball game. Did I mention yet that I am completely in love???? Great place to be.

Life is a approaching a more lucid state, lucky to have my mama in town next weekend.

Lander is such a cute little guy, he is staring at me wanting to go for a walk, but alas, his owner has priority at this moment. Besides, he already got his walk today.

2006-03-23T19:18:00.000-08:00

Procrastination... I have so much to do and have no desire to do it. That is my one and only thought of the evening. Mind and body are mush. Sleep well, sweet dreams.

2006-03-22T20:25:00.000-08:00

Pizza is yummy... So the whole food issue with yoga gets to me. I wish people could be healthy and not obsess. Not about food, and not about yoga. I just made pizza with pesto, mushrooms, feta, onions, tomatoes, and broccoli. Now that is life! Have a good bottle of wine with your favorite person in the universe (B of course) and that is what it is all about. Yoga hurt a bit this morning. A bit off. Couldn't balance at all. And I got a bit snappy at all the people telling me how to do Karandavasana "Do this, do that" and me replying with "My hip is just too tight... blah blah blah..." I need a serious mind makeover. The morning didn't really start off right because for some reason I am having allergic reactions and breaking out into hives. I remember the first time I did this I was on the subway in NYC and I thought that there was something coming through the ventalation system. How paranoid is that? Well, I broke into hives this morning. This is probably about the 15th time I have done this in the last two years. I'm really over it. Not cool. It is probably stress related. My masters program is really full on right now and I'm working two jobs, doing 6 yoga practices per week, working almost everyday, maintaining family and friend relationships, playing on a softball team, and being a girlfriend. It's a lot for a girl eh? No wonder I broke into hives.... Also lots of stress this year... January got super sick, February, my Nana died, March, all this crap with having B gone, the job issues, school stress, Dog stress, MONEY stress, and then I had tons of trips planned and NONE are going to happen. Mope Mope Mope. I have dreams about Nana where I am realising over and over again in my dream that she has died and it shocks me every time. I really miss her. Poo. There are a lot of wonderful things in my life, new and old friends, a great relationship with my family, awesome yoga, and the man that I love... AND A 24-4 victory in our softball game last night!!!! However, I just can't seem to get out of my head.

2006-03-20T15:25:00.000-08:00

Someone Take a Picture!!! Ok, did some crazy stuff at yoga this morning. So fun. In a backbend Rich helped me grab my calves, and then I stayed there by myself... standing like that. This is crazy man. Cirque du soleil here I come! Tiff does this all the, but it was a first for me :)

Oh, and I attempted Eka Pada Vristikasana. But NOT by myself as that would have been the end of me... Here's the pose I attempted off to the side. Ya right, maybe in 500 years.

Everyone should do yoga...looks cool eh. And it is all about how you look.........................

2006-03-18T12:10:00.000-08:00

Liz on first...

Good day, Sunshine...

Slow Saturdays are the best. Sleep in, drink tea, hang out with the man. Determine the meaning of life. Love that I am catching up with friends through having a blog, why it took me so long to do one, don't know. Last night we went out and got a drink at First Street Bar in Encinitas. That place is super cool, not pretentious or "sceney." Not much else going on today. Wish I could sleep in more, 7 rolled around and I laid in bed wishing I could sleep more. Pretty mellow day, off to work tonight. Hope yoga isn't as brutal tomorrow as it was yesterday!

2006-03-17T11:34:00.000-08:00

Wow, just got a message from Malinda. I'm assuming it is Sheniqua Malinda! It's super cool to hear from you! How did you hear about the Blog? What's new?

2006-03-17T10:42:00.000-08:00

OUCH!

I have a stiff neck and it is really bugging me. Yoga this morning was like Chinese water torture. Love Rich, Tim's assistant, for trying to help me get the knots out of my neck. He's great!

B just discovered that Lander is at the Carlsbad Humane Society. Strange nobody notified us. We didn't imagine that he would have been taken there, as it is pretty far from here and we figured he would have gone to the pound here in town. But atleast we know he is there! B just left to get him. I bet it is going to be a hefty price to get him out. Kiran, were you serious about offering to take him? We just don't have any land to let him roam around... He is a great dog, sweet, and handsome, but he is just not made to be in a small house with practically nothing of a yard.

ooooo, have a lot of school work to do, and then have another night of training. I'm feeling TIRED and a little down. I can't wait for April, I have the month off of school. It will be the first time since last January that I have had a break from school. Hallelujah!

Forgot to say that Tuesday we won our Softball game. Ya Woo! Go "Young Guns!" (Our team name). We are going to smoke em this season! Well, probably not, but the enthusiasm is there. All the female players on the other teams are huge and strong. I sometimes think we are playing pro teams, not just a bunch of pizza and beer buddies like us.

School work time....

2006-03-16T15:17:00.000-08:00

Fine Dining is Stressful!!!!!!

Because I am still finishing up my Masters I am stuck doing odd jobs. I am trying to mind my Ps and Qs at the new restaurant where I am working. I have to do everything just perfectly- it is really stressing me out! I just need to stay calm.

I just heard from my old roommate that her dog Charlee was hit by a car and didn't make it. So sad, she's really upset. Dog issues all around. Still no sign of our dog. We've put up signs, but I'm not sure we are going to hear anything. It's been a week already, it seems that if someone had him and wanted to get him back to his owners, we would have been contacted by now.

Tim's Improv class was a lot of fun this morning. He was in a playful mood which always lightens up the energy of the room. There was a girl there that I remember from Tim's teacher training last year. I remembered her because last year I noticed that she had a super cool wedding ring, it was diamonds and rubies. She practiced near me and no wedding ring anymore, costume jewelry instead. Looks like perhaps ANOTHER divorce...

Gorgeous day today, boring post though.

2006-03-14T17:07:00.000-08:00

Our missing puppy :(

Brett and me at Torrey Pines...

2006-03-13T14:49:00.000-08:00

This was me when I woke up this morning-I look ridiculous. I have a zit on my lip and it is making my lips all pouty. I keep laughing at myself when I look in the mirror. My upper lip looks like a sausage.

I woke up late this morning. Well, only 10 minutes but enough to get you a center-stage location at Tim's studio. I like those mornings when you have no expectations about your practice, you just show up. I had a really nice, intuitive practice. I concentrated on my breath. I wasn't sore. I almost made it all the way into Samakonasa- the ultimate test of how flexible I am for the day.
Kiran had showed me a great eka pada raj kapotasana anusara adjustment which really gets into those hips. I almost made it into padmasana in Karanda Vasana today, almost! Andrew was standing nearby and said "I thought you had that one!" All is coming, all is coming...

I did vrishtikasana in handstand all by myself and my feet were dangling in front of my eyes. Pretty crazy, eh?

I'm in a good mood today. Good yoga, worked a little, very sunny and beautiful out, now home and don't really have much I need to do. Might go to a movie or rent one tonight cause B has class.

Speaking of B, he's yummmmmmmmmy. He doing some work and furrowing his brow like always when he's on the computer.

So much better than last week. It is moon day tomorrow so I think we are going hiking somewhere. I need to get into better hiking shape so I can prepare for my Grand Canyon trip next month.

Yesterday we went to the pound to see if our dog Lander was there. No sign of him. He has been gone for 3 and a half days now. Kinda scary to think that somebody either has him and isn't letting us know, or that he could be dead somewhere. We don't really know what to think. I feel bad because he got out on my watch and he was definitely mad at me because I had yelled at him for tearing down the curtains and chewing and scratching the door that afternoon. Weird thing is that I think someone may have left him out cause our door wasn't bolted when I got home and I had definitely left it bolted.

So other than wondering about the dog, it has been a good day. Those are my wise words for the day... I feel pleasantly optimistic, hmmm, I wonder how long this is going to last.

2006-03-11T08:00:00.001-08:00

Good Saturday morning!

I worked my second training shift last night. It went quicker than they day before. The thing that sucks about training is NO TIPS! The person you help gets major bank and you get nothing. Oh well, it is the way of the game. Only three more training shifts (which is kind of a lot, but is okay because the menu is difficult and I need time to try to learn it.) When it is busy it flies by. On the way to work it was a down pour and I almost got into another accident because someone in a black Honda Civic wasn't paying attention and when the traffic stopped they almost slammed into the back of me because the roads were so slick.

I haven't been sleeping all that much. All stressed out. I stayed up late last night, 1am. It is rare that this happens but may be more common as time goes by due to the nature of my new job. Also, can't sleep in cause I'm not used to it. It poured at 6am this morning and woke me up. As my friends are coming to town today, I needed to clean and now the house is spic and span so I'm having my breakfast. Yum.... cottage cheese, soy nuts, shredded coconut (to help with soarness), golden raisins as I'm out of cranberries, and some nutritional yeast. Now I am finishing up with a Komboucha. Don't I sound like a true yogini? Too bad I'll probably have a diet soda and gum later, both not on the yogini diet plan.

The dog is still MIA. This sounds really evil, but I don't miss him. He was stressing me out so bad. I will never take care of that dog for a long period of time again, I am obviously incapable because I cannot stay home all the time.

Oh I love the rain! It is probably only because we don't get it much. I don't miss my Tacoma days. Now that was bad weather. Never been colder!

So today is my day off yoga. Sometimes I go to Alison's really great open class at nine on Saturdays but this morning I could not think of anything I would less rather do. I need today off from yoga, mentally and physically. I might go to the gym later and do a bit of cardio- yes I know, not probably the best for opening up my hips, but I need the endorphins sometimes. Today is one of those days where if I don't go to the gym, I will just sleep all day and I've got stuff to do.

B gets back tonight. Ever since he's been gone to Cabo San Lucas I have had nothing but issues. The vehicle dying, the dog getting out every flippin day and terrorizing the house, having to find another job, having to get rides everywhere, all of these issues make it very fun for him to call me, I'm sure. I bet it is all so easy-peasy down in Cabo where he's been hanging out with friends, sure sounds nice. Meanwhile, I'm the nag at home complaining about the bills. Great. I'm sure he's super stoked to get back to this. I need the vacation now. Too bad I will never be able to take one now that I have another job and am a slave to my bills. I need to win the lottery asap.

But there are a couple of good things in my life. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club tonight! Ya! Seeing Brett! Ya, and having the man back home will help me sleep not to mention, I've been missing him like hell. I haven't slept much as I keep thinking the boogie man is trying to get in with all the weird noises in my house.

Tomorrow is my favorite class. 2nd series led. We'll see how that right hip goes in Karandavasana!

2006-03-10T11:59:00.001-08:00

This is the pose I'm working on. I can't get my right leg far enough into padmasana to do it on my own. One day I will be able to do this, hopefully before I'm 50-

2006-03-10T11:50:00.000-08:00

Too bad we're totally sober in this photo. I miss my man, he's home tomorrow! :)

2006-03-10T11:45:00.000-08:00

So here's me bored in Baja- decide to play with my new camera instead of pine away for surf, not like I'm any good anyway

2006-03-09T22:56:00.000-08:00

Okay, so this is my first entry into the world of blogging. I can't believe I actually want to spend more time on the computer. Perhaps the delicate intricacies of my life being spilled into other minds holds some mysterious lure. Maybe I am just freaking bored because Brian is out of town.

The dog. The dog is gone again. This time I honestly don't care. I am so over babysitting that neurotic dog. He's gone, B gets back Saturday. At this point I don't care if I ever see the dog again. He's ripped up my door, my fence, and probably added four or five wrinkles to my face.

It was my first night at my restaurant job. C'est la vie. Once again training in a restaurant. One day, I will have a career, in the mean time I have to serve random people bread. Whatever, it could always be worse eh. I guess I could continue sitting on my ass for 30 hours a week at my other job if it weren't for the company going bust.

So my friend is coming into town and we are going to go to the BRMC (Black Rebel Motorcycle Club) concert Saturday night. I love those guys- they put on a great show. This will be the first real fun thing I will be doing in forever. I have been feeling so sorry for myself. Boo hoo. I just found out a friend had a miscarriage. Now that is something worth feeling bad about, not being lonely, having car issues, fat day issues, and dog issues. Come on Liz. Get over yourself.

My car is finally fixed. Not having a car in Southern California makes your life hell. Thanks to great friends for carting my sorry butt everywhere!!

Can't wait for my man to get back... two more days. Too bad his messages on my phone were about as animated as my 7th grade science teacher Mr. Hershey (Translation, sounded like he was about as excited to be speaking to me as getting a root canal). Sometimes I wonder if he actually is into our relationship. (B, not Mr. Hershey!)

So, I guess I've been eating too much as my pants are all not fitting now. What the hell is that?

Wow, that is a very negative post. Hopefully the next one will be super positive and I will be frolicking in the meadows.